Well, big news in the Gloucester-Mathews Gazette this week, a possum broke into the ABC store (that's the off-license to us Brits) and wreaked havoc among the booze. Apparently, he was heard by a passer-by, presumably during a particularly noisy frenzy of drunken havoc-wreaking, and the police were summoned to investigate. They opened the store and swamped the building with armed officers, clearly concerned with the possibility of real civil unrest. An eye-witness told this write "The possum was totally enraged. It was surrounded by empty bottles and was staggering around, growling and waving its paws menacingly. I was terrified."
Fortunately, the combined forces of Gloucester and Mathews Police Special Response Squads were able to subdue the beast, who was taken to jail straight from the scene, to be arraigned after it sobered up the following day. "My men took control of the situation, using nightsticks and stun grenades to overwhelm the criminal," said one senior Gloucester officer. His counterpart with Mathews police "We employed justifiable force with the mace and tazer. You can't be too careful these days." The owner of the ABC store was unavailable for comment, but the Night Manager was concerned with the legacy of fear following the incident. "I just want to know who will protect us once he's out of jail. Possums have long memories. It's like crossing the Mafia - you mess with one, you mess with them all."
Thought for the day - you shouldn't drink if you get nasty. Night, all.
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