God bless the DMV

It's not been my day at all. Let me set the scene.

When I came to the USA in March 2004 I was required, quite rightly, to show a lot of documentary proof that I was who I said I was, and my move across the pond was all above board and kosher. I produced passports, birth certificate, medical records, immunization records, bank records, employment records and evidence for a lack of criminal records. I completely understand the need for this - indeed, if the government of Britain, my mother country, demanded these things of people entering from overseas, a lot of illegal immigration, poverty, homelessness, violent crime and quite possibly terrorist activity would be avoided. So please don't think that I begrudge the INS or the DHS at all. After all, the let me into this wonderful, if misunderstood country of yours, let me train for and find a good job and allowed me to marry my beloved wife, and for that I am forever grateful.

But the DMV, now there's a different matter. It took me about six months back in 2004 to get the to allow me, as a legal resident in the USA, and with a British driving license that allowed me to drive in the USA for a limited time, to apply for a Virginia driving license. They finally gave in, and I took the theory and practical tests and passed. They gave me a license, which was to be renewed in July 2006. Today, in fact.

So off I went to the DMV, with my documentary evidence clasped in my hot little hand. They looked at the documents, and nodded. They asked me to look into the box and read the letters out (I need glasses to drive), and smiled as I reeled them off. Then it happened.

"Are you ready to take your test?" chirped the desk person. I didn't quite understand, after all I'd passed my test in 2004. They repeated the question. "Not really," said I. "I thought I'd already passed it once and didn't expect to have to do it again." Not so, apparently. My original work authorization, used to obtain my original driving license, ran out in April 2006 and was returned to the INS for replacement with my current one. Apparently this meant that my driving license not only had to be renewed, they wanted me to redo the whole test. Something about having to do a parallel park before I am allowed to wheel a hospital gurney down a corridor without an adult, or somesuch nonsense.

To be fair, the desk person did consult in the back office before giving me the bad news. Apparently that DMV doesn't get many foreigners and I suppose I put them into a bit of a tizzy. But anyway, they made me redo the test, both theory and practical. I passed, and they sent me on my merry way. Hopefully that will be it for a few years, although I'm willing to bet I have to do it a third time when my chicken pox vaccine needs doing again in 2013. I'm just relieved they didn't ask me to drop trou, bend over and cough in the DMV waiting room.

Other breaking news - El Jeffe has sprained her ankle. She was walking our purebred Middle Peninsula Turd-eating Hound, Poppy, and trod in a hole. She was so grumpy after being laid flat with an icepack on her leg for 2 days, and I got her a walker to hobble around on (El Jeffe, not Poppy.) I must admit, I enjoyed poking fun at her, although I suppose I shouldn't do it too much. I hear Paul McCartney lost half his fortune to Heather Mills beacuse he poked fun at her for only having one leg. Probably he played "This Boot Was Made For Walking" or "Blue Suede Shoe" once too often. I think it was because when she called him at the office and was put on hold, the hold music was Danny & The Juniors "At The Hop."

Thought for the day - driving is a privilege, not a right. Especially if you've had the measles in the last 5 years. Night, all.